The Internet Is Gagging With Glee: An Unearthed Gem From Blackadder's Archives
If you thought the only thing lost from your youth was your last Tamagotchi — think again. Because now there’s a rare, dusty, never‑aired draft of a Christmas special from the classic BBC sitcom Blackadder, up for sale. And the reason it was shelved? As scandalous as a turkey that can talk.
The Script That Nearly Was: Meet Blackadder in Bethlehem
Back in 1988, writer Richard Curtis penned a draft for a festive special called Blackadder in Bethlehem. The plan was to time‑warp the wily (and sarcastic) titular character — played by Rowan Atkinson — all the way back to Bethlehem, where he would run an inn. Into the innwalk not scandalous West End types, but rather the Biblical Mary and Joseph — desperate for a bed on Christmas Eve. Cue chaos.
Fans have drooled at the premise ever since the draft was rediscovered. On paper (or rather, typewritten page), the lost episode includes some of the sort of irreverent jokes you might expect if the team behind Blackadder had tried to combine the farce of Fawlty Towers with the cheeky irreverence of Life of Brian. In fact, Curtis himself described the aborted script as “a strange mixture of Fawlty Towers and Life of Brian.”
But soon after writing the first 20 pages, Curtis balked. He described that he abandoned it “for fear it would cause too much offence.”
Hence, no angels, no wise men — and definitely no talking turkey, at least not on the BBC’s airwaves.
What Was in It — and What Was Too Hot for the 1980s Airwaves
The surviving draft is apparently only around 20 pages long — a skeletal Christmas special rather than a full episode. But the bits that made it into the file are rich with the sort of off‑kilter humour beloved in Blackadder:
Blackadder as a “Basil Fawlty–esque innkeeper,” grumbling at having to host Mary and Joseph, tossing Baldrick (his sidekick) out of his usual lodgings.
A moment in which Joseph, after Baldrick sneezes, mishears “atishoo!” as “Jesu” — and considers naming the baby “Jesu.” Yep, that’s the kind of comedic blasphemy that might’ve triggered an 80s uproar.
A talking turkey, who learns it’s destined for dinner, wailing in existential horror — a gag so absurd it might’ve made you snort Christmas pudding out your nose.
Chaos at the inn: shepherds, kings, a Roman demanding strippers, lion tamers and magicians — all crashing the nativity, turning sacred history into a farcical inn’s “anything‑goes” night.
Legendary comedy historian Jem Roberts — who first revealed the script when researching a book about the series — called the draft “the rough workings of a comic genius.” He admitted that it was never fully formed, but that it had flashes of brilliance that might have made a truly mad, riotous Christmas special.
However, those flashes were never refined into filmed comedy — because even its creator thought it would be too risky.
A Script on Sale — For Charity
Fast‑forward to 2025, and the script is no longer just a dusty relic hidden in a filing cabinet. The draft of Blackadder in Bethlehem is now being auctioned — all proceeds to go to the global children’s education charity Theirworld.
The auction lot also includes something else to excite true fans and collectors: an original studio script from the episode Corporal Punishment (from Blackadder Goes Forth) — complete with handwritten notes from the filming process.
Curtis himself has spoken about the decision to donate the script: he said that in today’s world — now that the show has been over for decades — “there’s no harm in people reading it — if only to see just how far things used to improve before first draft and recording.”
In other words, this isn’t a cynical cash‑grab. It’s comedy archaeology, charity‑style.
But, Should It Have Been Made?
You almost have to admire the restraint. Had that turkey gag made it to screen, or the “Jesu” joke, or a Roman demanding strip‑teasers at the nativity — the uproar might have made today’s “taboo‑comedy” backlash look like a polite garden party.
But ironically, part of what makes this script fascinating is the contrast between what might have been and what actually was — the sharp, biting satire of Blackadder turned loose on sacred narrative, and then promptly swaddled and locked away.
There’s also a sense of “what if”: what if the creators had stuck with boldness rather than caution? Could Blackadder in Bethlehem have become a cult classic — or a laughable misstep?
As Roberts put it: “It’s the rough workings of a comic genius.” But genius doesn’t always equate with good taste — and maybe, just maybe, the right call was made. Still, for collectors and comedy nerds: what a find.